Following Pope Benedict XVI's announcement of his plans for retirement from the papacy early on Monday, the world has been on edge to find out who will step into the internationally significant role next. Who will the next pope be? What will he be like?
Johnston Piebald, a very old man from Tampa, FL, predicted Monday afternoon that the next Pope will definitely be Catholic.
"I've been around a long, long time," said the ninety-thee year old gas station attendant. "And I seen em come and go. I remember clear back to when they called themselves John Peter instead of John Paul. But if there's one thing at all that I have noticed, it's that the new pope generally turns out to be Catholic."
Tim Fowler at the Federal Bureau of Statistical Analysis corroborated Piebald's claim, calling him somewhat of a prophet. "Mr. Piebald's prediction does seem considerably likely," he said. "In my research into the matter I have found that the religious affiliation of past popes has been disproportionately Catholic."
Piebald, known locally as 'The Mobil Magi' has made predictions before as to future events and been right more often than wrong. He predicted that the Nile would flood it's banks during the rainy season of 1997, and that the Texas Rangers' star pitcher Nolan Ryan would retire from the NBA before his 70th birthday.
Piebald lives alone with eighteen six-toed cats and plays bingo at the VFW on Wednesday evenings.
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